Tonight I went to the Church of Spiritual Life unfoldment class. We did some drumming and journeying.
In my meditation and journeying experience, I began by sitting in a field with yellow green straw-grass. There was a babbling brook and mountains off in the distance. As I got up and began my journey, I walked into a cave. In this cave I remember seeing cave drawings on the wall. I remember the cave was lit but there was no fire that i could see. When I was in The cave, I remember feeling a Native American presence off in the distance in the back of the cave, behind the light. This was meant to be a solo journey. When I was in the cave, on the floor, I began focusing on breathing and meditating, healing and doing some sort of shamanic work. When I was in my journeying experience, I remember seeing a bright yellow sunlight type energy light come into my solar plexus. The sunlight energy began to heal my brain and my spinal cord and I remember the protective presence of the Native American behind me off in the distance. As I emerged from the journey experience when I was called back to the safe place, I remember getting up and walking back into the field where I initially began. I felt light and airy and like I just gone on some type of trip and healing experience.
We have been gone on the journeying experience for 45 minutes when I came back and we began to share our experiences. Patty Gosselin behind me begin to say how she saw a Native American standing in front of me, a red man with beads and a head piece for five minutes or so.
I hadn't had the opportunity to share my experience yet, so needless to say, this caught me off guard, although it made me smile because it was a validator for me that my experience was real.
As we continued on to group circle, my vision came back, but it was natives around me with feathers, drums, bells and chants, there was fire, it was positive an ceremonial of sorts. I couldn't focus on getting a message for another because I was focused on the activity going on in front of me. I feel well, and will continue to tap those energies present around me.
I am very grateful for the experience tonight, and am interested in continuing my journeys. I wish for each and every person to find a path they enjoy and walk or dance happily.
I always treasure Native and Shamanic type experiences.
Namaste.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
A-ha moments!
By golly, I think I've got it. One of the most frustrating things for me is when someone HEARS their quiet inner voice and stand with their potential, but CHOOSES to not listen. When I *know* someone heard a message contrary to their actions, or doesn't tell certain truths, it really infuriates me. Maybe it's something I should work on. I understand free will, but why use it to deceive and lie?
We all have free will to do whatever we want. We cannot judge another on their CHOICES. How does that work, though, when some of a person's choices are not in alignment with what their inner voice communicated?
When someone doesn't listen to their soul, for their own personal gain, it doesn't do anything beneficial. That goes hand in hand with the next part. Judgment. People will say and/or feel as if you judged them if you say something outside of their personal feelings. When a 'judgment' is complimentary in nature, one does not feel as if they have been judged? Ever notice that? "You look nice today", "I love your new _______", "you are a girl with blue eyes and brown hair", are ALL 'judgments' by definition... Judgment: "The act of judging; the operation of the mind, involving comparison and discrimination, by which a knowledge of the values and relations of thins, whether of moral qualities, intellectual concepts, logical propositions, or material facts, is obtained." When someone tells us they like/agree/or otherwise 'stroke' us, we are not quick to call *JUDGMENT*, but when others do not share the same belief/disagree/oppose or otherwise threaten our ego, we call JUDGMENT! and point the finger at another for 'judging' us. It can be argued that if someone does not know analytically, with substantiated FACT, it cannot be a truth and therefore a judgment. Judgments, in a court of law are made beyond a reasonable doubt. Innocent until proven guilty. Emotionally and spiritually, when we are 'judged' and feel it to be out of alignment, we pull the judgment card. Instead of seeing where the other is coming from, we get defensive over the accusation. When I get introspective like this, I seek out old Philosopher's to gain their take on the topics I am contemplating. “A judgment is said to be true when it conforms to the external reality” ~Thomas Aquinas We all walk our own path, and if one does not walk in those shoes, they cannot 'judge' our path. What happens when ones own inner voice speaks up and alerts you to something you are doing that is not in the best interest, for all? Do we abandon that inner voice and continue to act in a manner that is self-fulfilling, or do we understand 'the bigger picture' and honor our inner voice, conscience, intuition? Which way brings the most long-term happiness? Do we abandon the hope for a long term happiness by violating our inner guide in the present moment? If you have ever not faced a problem, justified yours or someone else's actions, lied to yourself, or 'talked yourself into' being 'ok' with what you are doing, or otherwise deceived yourself or others and not stayed true to the words you speak...How does that make you feel, and how did that work for you in the long run? When you do not honor your own inner voice, and someone is hurt because of it, is it still 'justified'? When you don't listen to your own inner voice, and someone says something IN alignment with YOUR inner voice, is that a judgment? When someone says something to you that IS true, WITH the ability to substantiate, is THAT considered a judgment? People are quick to call JUDGMENT when their own choices seem threatened. Remember, if it is flattery, it is not considered a judgment, only when you feel it is out of alignment with YOUR truth do you pull the judgment card. "A man's conscience and his judgment is the same thing; and as the judgment, so also the conscience, may be erroneous." ~Thomas Hobbes
We all have free will to do whatever we want. We cannot judge another on their CHOICES. How does that work, though, when some of a person's choices are not in alignment with what their inner voice communicated?
When someone doesn't listen to their soul, for their own personal gain, it doesn't do anything beneficial. That goes hand in hand with the next part. Judgment. People will say and/or feel as if you judged them if you say something outside of their personal feelings. When a 'judgment' is complimentary in nature, one does not feel as if they have been judged? Ever notice that? "You look nice today", "I love your new _______", "you are a girl with blue eyes and brown hair", are ALL 'judgments' by definition... Judgment: "The act of judging; the operation of the mind, involving comparison and discrimination, by which a knowledge of the values and relations of thins, whether of moral qualities, intellectual concepts, logical propositions, or material facts, is obtained." When someone tells us they like/agree/or otherwise 'stroke' us, we are not quick to call *JUDGMENT*, but when others do not share the same belief/disagree/oppose or otherwise threaten our ego, we call JUDGMENT! and point the finger at another for 'judging' us. It can be argued that if someone does not know analytically, with substantiated FACT, it cannot be a truth and therefore a judgment. Judgments, in a court of law are made beyond a reasonable doubt. Innocent until proven guilty. Emotionally and spiritually, when we are 'judged' and feel it to be out of alignment, we pull the judgment card. Instead of seeing where the other is coming from, we get defensive over the accusation. When I get introspective like this, I seek out old Philosopher's to gain their take on the topics I am contemplating. “A judgment is said to be true when it conforms to the external reality” ~Thomas Aquinas We all walk our own path, and if one does not walk in those shoes, they cannot 'judge' our path. What happens when ones own inner voice speaks up and alerts you to something you are doing that is not in the best interest, for all? Do we abandon that inner voice and continue to act in a manner that is self-fulfilling, or do we understand 'the bigger picture' and honor our inner voice, conscience, intuition? Which way brings the most long-term happiness? Do we abandon the hope for a long term happiness by violating our inner guide in the present moment? If you have ever not faced a problem, justified yours or someone else's actions, lied to yourself, or 'talked yourself into' being 'ok' with what you are doing, or otherwise deceived yourself or others and not stayed true to the words you speak...How does that make you feel, and how did that work for you in the long run? When you do not honor your own inner voice, and someone is hurt because of it, is it still 'justified'? When you don't listen to your own inner voice, and someone says something IN alignment with YOUR inner voice, is that a judgment? When someone says something to you that IS true, WITH the ability to substantiate, is THAT considered a judgment? People are quick to call JUDGMENT when their own choices seem threatened. Remember, if it is flattery, it is not considered a judgment, only when you feel it is out of alignment with YOUR truth do you pull the judgment card. "A man's conscience and his judgment is the same thing; and as the judgment, so also the conscience, may be erroneous." ~Thomas Hobbes
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
I'm 30.
It's official. I am 30. A new decade, a new generation added below me.
For my birthday, I am getting an aquamarine stone my mom bought for me when I was a baby. I am going to put it into a setting.
I am here and have been through a lot. I always wondered if I would live to see 30. Sounds morbid, but when everyone around you is dying, it doesn't give you much faith in life. Here I am, two kids, a wife (who saw that one coming? Not me!) and am happy. I am happy, healthy and loved.
I am happy with Meg. We have a blast together and 'get' each other. Doesn't have to be explained. Spend 5 minutes with us.
I love my kids. Both equally, for shared and varying reasons. They rock and are so sweet and smart. Being a mom is the best. Watching them grow was the fun part, but now that they are big, I can't help but reminisce about when they were babies. I simply cherish every moment.
I wanted to fill a desire to help people and am part of V-Day Lawrence and have helped raise money on a relatively small scale. I want to go bigger.
I feel I am 'on track' with school and business. I've never been one who likes working for other people. I've worked for others in my years, I've had 8 'jobs' that I can remember. I started working one month after I turned 15. I started my own business when I was 23. I started with the readings formally when I was 28. I know that there is a 'next', but I am not sure what that is yet.
I seem to get a lot of anxiety at night, and it's because I am waiting for my 'next' and am anticipating it with joy. My insides are happy and jumping for joy, wanting to burst at the seams, but it feels like the excitement is causing anxiety, which is a shitty feeling. It's hard to explain.
I have yet to delve into why I am getting anxiety at night. I don't like to feed that vibration.
I feel there's this soul inside me that just 'knows', but doesn't share all the secrets. I have to hunt and do the work to uncover layer after layer through consciousness.
I'm ready for my 'next step'. I feel it is with business. We'll see where that takes me. I am eager and grateful, with an open heart. Ready to receive. Ready to give. I understand reciprocity, balance and change. I learned what I could from challenging situations and continue to grow.
I have strived to live in accordance with my inner voice, struggling in my human sack of skin at times, but growing with each righted wrong. I am
mindful to live in the 'light', in the moment and hold beneficial relationships.
We may never outright know our destiny, where would be the fun in that? We balance the negative with the positive and keep our eye on the prize, moving steadily forward, if only in thought progression at first.
Believing is dreaming which sets afire the heart. If at any point we are wondering just where to start, believe your thoughts can direct your life where so as to follow your heart.
I'm feeling the itch to write a book and start a new business/build on what I have.
Off to heal the heart. Work in progress, what can I say?
For my birthday, I am getting an aquamarine stone my mom bought for me when I was a baby. I am going to put it into a setting.
I am here and have been through a lot. I always wondered if I would live to see 30. Sounds morbid, but when everyone around you is dying, it doesn't give you much faith in life. Here I am, two kids, a wife (who saw that one coming? Not me!) and am happy. I am happy, healthy and loved.
I am happy with Meg. We have a blast together and 'get' each other. Doesn't have to be explained. Spend 5 minutes with us.
I love my kids. Both equally, for shared and varying reasons. They rock and are so sweet and smart. Being a mom is the best. Watching them grow was the fun part, but now that they are big, I can't help but reminisce about when they were babies. I simply cherish every moment.
I wanted to fill a desire to help people and am part of V-Day Lawrence and have helped raise money on a relatively small scale. I want to go bigger.
I feel I am 'on track' with school and business. I've never been one who likes working for other people. I've worked for others in my years, I've had 8 'jobs' that I can remember. I started working one month after I turned 15. I started my own business when I was 23. I started with the readings formally when I was 28. I know that there is a 'next', but I am not sure what that is yet.
I seem to get a lot of anxiety at night, and it's because I am waiting for my 'next' and am anticipating it with joy. My insides are happy and jumping for joy, wanting to burst at the seams, but it feels like the excitement is causing anxiety, which is a shitty feeling. It's hard to explain.
I have yet to delve into why I am getting anxiety at night. I don't like to feed that vibration.
I feel there's this soul inside me that just 'knows', but doesn't share all the secrets. I have to hunt and do the work to uncover layer after layer through consciousness.
I'm ready for my 'next step'. I feel it is with business. We'll see where that takes me. I am eager and grateful, with an open heart. Ready to receive. Ready to give. I understand reciprocity, balance and change. I learned what I could from challenging situations and continue to grow.
I have strived to live in accordance with my inner voice, struggling in my human sack of skin at times, but growing with each righted wrong. I am
mindful to live in the 'light', in the moment and hold beneficial relationships.
We may never outright know our destiny, where would be the fun in that? We balance the negative with the positive and keep our eye on the prize, moving steadily forward, if only in thought progression at first.
Believing is dreaming which sets afire the heart. If at any point we are wondering just where to start, believe your thoughts can direct your life where so as to follow your heart.
I'm feeling the itch to write a book and start a new business/build on what I have.
Off to heal the heart. Work in progress, what can I say?
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