Gratitude...How do you show it?

Gratitude is very important. It is the key to many blessings. My life had been less than 'blessed' (in the past). I have learned that gratitude is essential to happiness.

I understand that we may take for granted blessings in life. I resolve to start each day, before my feet hit the floor, with love & gratitude in my heart. I repeat this each night as I fall asleep & do the same at other times, daily. I leave notes for family & friends (as well as others). I have written letters, emails and texts to let people know how much they mean to me. I teach my kids (ages 4 & 7) that gratitude is very important. I teach them to 'pay it forward' and do for others. I have a 'heart chart' on the wall for behavior/chores. Showing respect, gratitude & personal responsibility all make the list. I have paid tolls and bought coffees for the person behind me. I do this to show gratitude for what I have.

I strive to reignite the light inside others. I strive to show gratitude daily & encourage others to do the same. I understand life is a blessing, and although not easy at times, there are lessons learned through struggles and we can show gratitude for lessons learned & wisdom gained. I have exercises to help people identify what they are grateful for, and set new intentions. People sometimes forget that they *do* have things to be grateful for.

Pity Train has left the station...

I don't usually do this, but I have a PSA Rant: I get tired of people using their life circumstances as an excuse to not succeed. I buried both of my parents by 20 years old, fought through probate court until I was 23, still bought a home, started my own business, had kids, got married, etc. All before 25 years old. I don't make excuses to fail in life because of my past circumstances and the hand I was dealt. I don't have family that helps me out or that I can run to. Everyone is disconnected and does their own thing. Things may not always be easy, but I've never run and asked for someone to help (bail me out), nor has it been offered, for college or anything else. Shitty things happening in life is not an excuse for a woe-is-me pity party. Pick yourself up by the bootstraps, put on your big kid panties and get going. Personal responsibility is a cold shower that wakes you up from making excuses and swelling in your own sh*t.

Everyone has their own definition of success and happiness, just as everyone has individual specific challenges. There's no 'one size fits all' happiness t-shirt or solution.

I just encounter some people who habitually make excuses to not live on their own, take care of their issues, succumb to addictions, rely on someone to take care of or bail them out, make excuses and hold a pity party for their own poor decision making, expect people to feel bad for them or seeking others to issue superficial attention, etc.

I agree past issues can get in the way and make it more challenging to define success in our own lives, but it's not an excuse, it's a speed bump challenging us to gain strength. 

 I've had *multiple* different people say to me that they are surprised I am not a heroin addict with all I've been handed (I don't think more than one or two people know everything I've been through- many know bits and pieces). I *chose* to not succumb and escape from reality, rather I asked what I was meant to learn from the experience, how I can grow and what wisdom is now available for the future of my life because of what I went through.

I battled suicidal tendencies and thoughts from the time I was 15 off and on until 28. I had a hard time dealing with the amass of shit flung my way early in life (it's nothing short of traumatizing when you live formative years with someone who has Hemophilia and HIV- blood not clotting and deadly blood dripped in my house- I remember more than I probably should). I used to be a very heavy, angry, sad, depressed, disconnected, emotionally isolated person. I've made attempts on my life numerous times, there's few who knew that and fewer who extended a loving hand to help, offer encouragement or compassion. I learned from it all. I grew from it all, I'm stronger because of it. I checked my butt into therapy and deal with my issues from the past.

I understand that life issues are relative, individual and varying. I'm not saying I've had it the worst (again it is all relative to life experience), but when you live with multiple people with HIV/AIDS and cancer in your own home, bury 4 people you LIVE with in less than 10 years, find out you're 1/2 adopted after one parent dies, find out that a 'college fund' set up from several yearly benefits after my dad passed that was airmarked for my brother and I only had my brothers name on it (found that one out after my mom died), adult like responsibilities at 11 years old, saw a close family member put the barrel of a gun in their mouth by the time I was 13, dealt with abuse in two homes, get cheated on, have family 'forget about you' and not reach out when you need them most, get 'bumped up' a generation w/ additional expectations when my mom passed, dealing with an addiction in my close family (unbenounced to my family - I had to drop someone in a detox facility this year, with the addiction persisting today), in addition to the MS diagnosis. I've been through the wringer w/ all the crap.

I try to wash away that stuff, honoring where I've been and using that to fuel my desire to seek my own definition of success and happiness. It's all about the mindset. I don't want people feeling bad for me. I would rather be admired for what I overcame and where I am vs. where I was and people pitying me for my challenges. I encourage everyone to face the truth within and do the same.

Life sucks sometimes, flat out. There's always a lesson to be learned, and we can always rise up out of being a 'victim' of circumstance. We may then find we are the ones teaching, after learning.

what I am trying to convey was most certainly NOT that "i have it all figured out' (I would never claim such an ignorant thing), I battle new challenges all the time. For those that KNOW ME, I have been through MUCH more than the small pieces I have shared here.

I feel a lot, more than many realize. I by no means judge someone for their individual struggles. I honor where they are, and give them encouragement to grow from that dark place.

I NEVER SAID and never WOULD say "you suck because you live life this type of a way; yet I do this and I do that and I- I- I- blah blah blah......" . What I DID say and what prompted this is that there is someone close to me who has yet to rise above 'unfair circumstances' and the hand that life dealt and uses it as an excuse to remain addicted to Oxy, not helping them-self, despite my attempts and encouragement. This other person was dealt a verrrrrry similar hand. It's always the same, and others enable it: "Look at the hand dealt, poor kid." I do not share the same sentiment. I say 'hey, it sucks, but what can ya do? The past is the past, are you going to live life complaining how much the past sucked and the shitty hand you were dealt, or live in the present and set goals for the future? Honor where you've been, identify blockages and challenges and move forward". I get stuck in life too, I have unexpected things come up: like leaving an abusive relationship, losing nearly 40k in liquid assets in the form of a negative mortgage after putting 20+% CASH DOWN on my home and a tanked IRA, stocks and mutual funds, and then moving into a new home and being diagnosed with MS mere months later. I started going to college AFTER all that. I didn't start college until I was 27!

I never said I don't want to hear excuses. I stated that I do not want their 'excuses' to hinder their personal growth, personal responsibility, and ultimately the longevity and happiness within their own life. I don't have much tolerance for woe-is-me. When someone picks out what it written on their mother's headstone at 20 years old, gets raped at 9 months pregnant, and consistently judged by people who not only don't know ME, but have never met me, that is a perfect display of ignorance. Wallowing in self pity didn't work when I tried it, back in the day. Aristotle says we can't blame those who are ignorant, for they do not know any better. I would rather EMPOWER those in a challenging situation, it IS more beneficial and productive than JUDGMENT, no?!

Life challenges are relative to life experiences. I stated I have NOT had it the 'worst', but I challenge anyone on their own pity train to wise up! It is *such* a waste of precious life. No one wants to boo-hoo their life away and die knowing they wasted time boo-hooing, but not accepting personal responsibility for their role in it all.
 

I *HAD* to rise up and deal with it all. If I didn't I'd be dead with a needle sticking out of my arm. While some may in face lack the mental dexterity to handle major life issues, at some point they need to stand up and just do it. No one handed Oprah a fair childhood, but she rose above and is inspiring to billions. While I do feel badly for those in a challenging spot, I will not succumb to their desire for others' pity, I will encourage them and ask that they give themselves permission to rise above circumstances.

I have to address this statement that was directed towards me: "but everyone is built differently and what may not be an issue for you, can be an issue for someone else."

What I am about to say is not directed at any one person, I just need to vent a minute. I have heard this said before and know that from another perception, this statement is their truth and I do not judge. I am going to be candid. raw. There is more that I am not feeling the need to share. I mean absolutely NO disrespect in what I am saying. I respect and honor the perspectives and life experiences and the individual position that people are in. Written text can be challenging because there is a lack of tone and inflection, so I am being upfront with a respectful and forthright, compassionate tone.

What I have been through in my life hurts. I have had nights curled crying myself to sleep.I also tend to stop breathing when I am really upset, who knew? I have sat with blade to wrist, thoughts of throwing my car going 80 off the highway, mixed things I shouldn't, pissed at where I was and the shit in my hands. I had a completely apathetic lackluster approach at life in general. I was atheist, dark, angry, defiant, suicidal, hurt and sad (remember, Kimberlee Sullivan Simpson?). I have been to a dark, dark place. I needed help, but I never got it looking beyond my own nose. I had to help myself. If I didn't, I couldn't expect more from myself than where I was at that time in my life. Lost. Lonely. Confused. Dead. I built a wall and didn't give a shit. I drove 120+ on the highway in my Daytona (@Leeann Gagnon) There are friends of mine, mind you only one of those friends have even posted here), that have literally talked me from the edge when I couldn't handle my shit.

Nobody is 'equipped' to handle this shit. Nobody gets a manual that tells you how to deal with some of the shit I have been through, you have been through or the guy over there has been through. We ALL have our struggles. We ALL have our personal challenges. We are ALL handed shit we aren't 'equipped' to handle.

We all have hard times. It's what we do with the hard times, do you rise, or continue to swirl? It's kind of like a Spiritual Darwinism. I do not judge anyone else's trials and tribulations. It's what you do with what you are given with a taste of survival of the fittest and a hint of personal responsibility.

Any single one of my FRIENDS knows me. They know that I will be there when they need me, I will be there encouraging and empowering and giving them the tools they need. I have helped walk people from that edge. I have helped friends with addictions, troubles, confusion, loss, etc. I am in a better place to do so now. BUT! Anyone of my FRIENDS or people who LOVE me knows or heck! even anyone that comes for a reading... I will challenge you to be your best. I will challenge you to rise up to our highest potential, regardless of your circumstances. I will challenge you to take personal responsibility with the issue you are coming to me about. Some people don't like that. I have been told it is 'calling you on your bullshit'. I will ask if you are breathing. If so, potential to better yourself is there, despite your perceived flaws, vulnerabilities, insecurities and hurt. I will ask you to heal yourself of the past pains and be the best you can be. I will ask you what you want, and help take steps to get there. Not where I think you 'should' be, but where YOU want to be. Some people need baby-steps (yes, Stephanie McCabe I'll call you out on that one) and some people just do it in leaps and bounds ( Arielle Wolfe ), despite their troubles, issues and 'issues' need to be dealt with. I don't think that many of us would be in the position we are today if we didn't make choices that we made. I have always said that karma is not what happens to you, it's how you respond. So much of our lives, despite where we've been, is up to us. I have been told that one reason that Meg loves me is BECAUSE I challenge, in a good way.

I challenge myself to do all the things I would challenge someone I love. I have since one month after my mom died. I have worked really hard to work through things that sucked, and continue to do so, handed a wide variety and big piles of shit to sort through for the near 10 years following her passing.

I was once told that I gave off the impression that I looked like and presented as a 'rich white girl who never had to work for anything and had things handed to her'. PAAHHAHAHA! That could not be further than the truth! I've struggled, with being told to bring anything that is valuable and means something to me to school in my backpack, because we may not have a home. I helped balance a checkbook and handle bills when I was 13. I did laundry, cooking and cleaning when I was 12, because my mom worked two jobs. I tended to my brother, 5 years my junior, while my mom worked all day in the summer. I put him to bed when she worked nights. There are people who remember this... Bridget O'Brien knows.

There is so much more. TIP OF THE ICEBERG. I don't say any of this for pity, sympathy, a pissing contest or anything of the like. It is my truth. If you didn't know anything I have written today...it's because I never wanted your sympathy, pity, judgment or anything else. 

 I leave this is love and peace. Best your best, whatever that may be. Namaste. <3

2011

2011 was a wild & busy ride. I welcomed in 2011 with a new attitude and unparalleled gratitude in my life.

I became a published collaborative author of Goddess Bedtime Stories complete with book launch party and book signing. I directed the local chapter of V-Day in the 2011 season raising nearly 10k for local domestic violence survivors. I took my intuitive reading business to new heights, did over 350 readings, helping people in 7 states, did a psychic reading fair and was unexpectedly approached and asked to be a part of Haunted Happenings in Salem, MA doing readings at Salem's Psychic Center. I continued working my Athena's business, and will continue to do so in 2012. I rocked school with a 4.0 all year. I got married, stayed healthy (MS relapse free), tied up loose ends, veered away from negativity and re-prioritized my life & values. I listened to my intuition more than ever before.

2011 presented a variety of challenges as well, but I am choosing not to give the challenges any energy at this time. I honor that the challenges helped me grow, gave me a thicker skin and new perspective. I washed away many situations and things that no longer served and welcomed in new blessings and a positive, determined mindset. I am grateful for the lessons learned and wisdom gained along the way. I am grateful for friends & family - new & old.

I am so excited for 2012. This is going to be interesting.

Be well and enjoy the ride.